I-171H Received

We received our I-171H at the end of January while I was traveling for business. As soon as I landed in Minneapolis on 1/31, I had to book a flight immediately to head to California because my grandmother's health was failing.  I didn't even have time to really enjoy or be happy about the fact that our I-171H for had arrived finally as I had been waiting for this day to come.  Instead, I would go and spend time with my grandmother, who later passed away on 2/7/13.  It was the first time that I had ever lost anyone this close to me.  I wanted to be sad but I was also angry at myself about all of the missed opportunities to just call and say hello.  It seems that my life was always too busy, at least that was what I tried to convince myself of.  But was I really too busy to pick up the phone and have a 5 minute conversation?  No, I wasn't and now I can't get that time back.  While we were dealing with her being on life support, I thought of ways to try and keep myself busy.  I was going to work on the adoption while I was there.  But then, I thought about how many times I was too busy to pick up the phone.  And it was at that moment I decided that I would leave all of our adoption paperwork in the suitcase and I would stop and focus on her.  For this would be the last time that I would be able to do so. 

Although I told my grandmother before she became ill that I was in the process of adopting, it saddens me that my grandmother will never be able to see, know or hug her grandchild.  Nor will she be able to see pictures or hear about the journey and the travel that lies ahead.  And although I know that she will not be able to share in this experience, I know that she would want me to keep following my dreams and that is what I will do.

I love you Granny.....